Whenever you think you would like to go back to your teenage years... think of Algebra!

When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.

A man has to take on up a sport at the advice of his doctor, so he decides to play tennis. After a couple of weeks his buddy asks him how he's doing.

"It's going fine," the man says, "When I'm on the court and I see the ball speeding towards me my brain immediately says: To the corner! Back hand! To the net! Smash! Go back!"

"Really? What happens then?" his friend asks enthusiastically.

"Then my body says, 'Who? Me? Don't talk nonsense!'"