What is the definition of the word 'jury'?

Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney.

The only time the world beats a path to your door...

Is when you're in the bathroom!

Sign in a gas station:

'Coke -- $0.49 or Two for a Dollar!'

The German controllers at Frankfurt Airport were a serious bunch. They not only expected you to know your parking location but how to get there without any assistance from them. The following was an exchange between Frankfurt ground and a British Airways 747 (radio call Speedbird 206) after landing.

Speedbird 206: "Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active."

Ground: "Guten morgan, taxi to your gate."

The British Airways 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

Speedbird 206: "Stand by, ground, I'm looking up the gate location now."

Ground (with typical German impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you never flown to Frankfurt before?"

Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, in 1944. But I didn't stop".