A bear walks into a bar and says, "Give me a whiskey and...(pause)...... cola."

"Why the big pause?" asks the bartender.

The bear shrugged, "I'm not sure, I was born with them."

Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles...

He kept leaving little messages around the house.

A sign outside of a hotel read:

"Help! We need inn-experienced people!"

While working as a radiology technician in a hospital emergency room, I took x-rays of a trauma patient. I brought the films to our radiologist, who studied the multiple fractures of the femurs and pelvis.

"What happened to this patient?" he asked in astonishment.

"He fell out of a tree," I reported.

The radiologist wanted to know what the patient was doing up a tree.

"I'm not sure, but his paperwork states he works for Bob's Expert Tree Service."

Gazing intently at the x-rays, the radiologist blinked and said, "Cross out 'Expert.'"