"What do you get if you cross a fridge and a stereo?"
"I don't know, what?"
"Cool music!"
Swimming Coach: "Hey! Why are you doing only the backstroke?"
Swimmer: "Because I just ate, sir. I don't want to swim on a full stomach."
Humpty: I want to paint my bicycle but i don't have money to buy the paint!
Dumpty: Once when i needed money i sold my watch. Why don't you sell your watch and get the money?
Humpty: No, not my watch! It belonged to my grandfather. But you have given me an idea.
The Next Day...
Humpty: I got the paint!
Dumpty: Then why are you looking so unhappy? Don't tell me you sold your watch!
Humpty: No, not the watch.
Dumpty: Then what did you sell?
Humpty: The bicycle!
MAN: Have you finished ironing my silk shirt?
BUTLER: Yes, sir.
MAN: Then please bring it here. I have to get dressed!
BUTLER: Sir, I was ironing and someone knocked on the door. I went to open it and when I came back I could smell something burning....
MAN: Don't tell me you've burnt my shirt!
BUTLER: I... yes, I did.
MAN: Oh, no! Fortunately I have another silk shirt in the cupboard.
BUTLER: I know that, sir. That's why I cut it up and patched up the one I burnt!