A guy, desperate for a drink walks into a candy store. He looks around and after a while the storekeeper says, "Can I help you with anything?"
The guy replies, "Yeah, I really need a drink! Got any liquor?"
"Well, I have something here that could work for you," replies the storekeeper.
"What is it?"
"It's liquor-ish."
A man was found guilty of overusing commas.
The judge warned him to expect a really long sentence.
I was really angry at my friend Mark for stealing my dictionary!
I said, “Mark, my words!”
What did 2 say to 3 when they saw 6 act like an idiot?
"Don’t mind him, he’s just a product of our times."