What do you call two monkeys who share an Amazon account?
Prime mates.
What do you call a hen who counts her own eggs?
A mathemachicken.
Why is 68 afraid of 70?
Because 69 and 70 got into a fight and 71.
My neighbor rang on my doorbell at 3 am... can you believe it!?
Luckily I was still up playing the drums.