"Do you smoke?"
"No."
"Do you drink?"
"No."
"Do you eat hay, then?"
"No."
"Man, you're not a fit companion for man or beast."
"Mr. Jones," began the timid looking young man, "May I... um... can I... what I mean is, will you...."
"Why yes my boy, you have my blessing," smiled the girl's father.
The young man gasped. "What's that? I have your what?" he asked.
"My blessing to marry my daughter of course," replied Jones. "That's what you mean isn't it, you want to marry her don't you?"
"Why no," said the young man. "I just wanted to know if you could lend me $50.00?"
"Certainly not!" said Jones, sharply. "Why I hardly know you!"
They say that an apple a day will keep the doctor away...
Why stop there?
An onion a day will keep everybody away!
I am a 65 year old volunteer teacher's assistant at my church's daycare. On the end of the second week of the start of school, one nice 5 year old girl that I noticed was observing me for days finally approached me and said:
"I know how old you are! You are 30 years old."
With shock and surprise in my voice, I said, "Oh my goodness, my grand daughter just turned 30!"
The 5 year old then said, "Wow, that is something! You and your grand daughter are the same age!"