My dad walked me down the aisle at my third wedding.
He said, “I keep giving you away... and they keep giving you back!”
"I stand corrected!"
... Said the man in the orthopedic shoes.
They say you shouldn't go grocery shopping when you're hungry...
But I ran out of food a few days ago, and it's just getting worse!
What’s the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?
A golfer goes whack and then "Darn!" while a skydiver goes “Darn!” and then whack.