“But doctor,” lamented the young husband in counseling, “whenever Sue and I quarrel, she becomes historical.”

“You mean, hysterical,” said the doctor.

“No, historical. She starts digging up my past.”

A man visiting a doctor says; Doctor I just dropped in to tell you how much I benefited from your treatment.
The doctor replied; but you are not one of my patients.
The man said: I know. But my uncle Bill was, and I am his heir.

A man visits his psychiatrist and talks about being haunted by visions of his departed relatives. He says; these ghosts are perched on the tops of fence posts around my garden every night. They sit there and watch me and watch me. What can I do?
The psychiatrist says; that's easy … just sharpen the tops of the posts.

Lisa: Do you really lover, or do you just think you do?
Bob: Honey, I really lover you. I haven’t done any thinking yet.