Marriage is nature’s way of keeping people from fighting with strangers.

An important official who was visiting an insane asylum made a telephone call but had difficulty getting his number.

Finally, in exasperation, he shouted to the operator, “Look here, miss, do you know who I am?”

“No,” she replied calmly, “but I know where you are.”

“I hear your husband is a linguist.”
“Yes, he speaks three languages … golf, football, and baseball.

Heather: I noticed by this article that men become bald much more than women because of the intense activity of their brains.
John: Yes, and I notice that women do not grow beards because of the intense activity of their chins!