A man entered a barbershop and said: “I am tired of looking like everyone else!
I want a change! Part my hair from ear to ear!”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes!” said the man.
The barber did as he was told, and a satisfied customer left the shop.
A few hours passed and the man reentered the shop. “Put it back the way it was,” he said. “What’s the matter? Asked the barber. “Are you tired of being a nonconformist already?” “No”, he replied, “I am tired of people whispering in my nose!”

Judge: "Haven’t I seen you before?"

Man: "Yes, your Honor. I taught your daughter how to play the drums."

Judge (banging the gavel): "Twenty years!"

Husband: Don’t put that money in your mouth. There are germs on it.
Wife: Don’t be silly. Even a germ can’t live on the money you make.

“Now, that looks like a happily married couple.” Remarks the husband.
“Don’t be too sure, my Dear. They are probable saying the same thing about us.” Replied his wife.