They were watching a TV soap opera, and he became irritated by the way his wife was taking it to heart. “How can you sit there and cry about the made-up troubles of people you’ve never even met?” he demanded.
“The same way you can jump up and scream when some guy you’ve never met scores a touchdown,” she replied.

After removing a tiny fish from his hook and throwing it back into the water, the fisherman said: “Don’t show up around here anymore without your parents!”

A group of friends who went deer hunting separated into pairs for the day. That night, one hunter retuned alone, staggering under an eight-point buck. “Where is Mike?” asked another hunter. “He fainted a couple of miles up the trail,” Mike’s partner answered. “You left him lying there alone and carried the deer back?” “A tough call,” said the hunter. “But I figured no one is going to steal Mike.”

The law professor was lecturing on courtroom procedure. “When you are fighting a case and have the facts on your side, hammer away at the facts. If you have the law on your side, hammer away with the law.”

“But what if you have neither the facts nor the law on your side?” asked a student.

“In that case,” said the professor, “hammer away on the table.”