I phoned a local restaurant to ask if it was on the north or south side of the Main Street.

The person on the other end answered, “That depends on which direction you’re coming from.”

Question on second-grade math quiz: "Tony drank 1/6 of a glass of juice. Emily drank 1/4 of a glass of juice. Emily drank more. Explain."

My grandson’s answer: "She was more thirsty."

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."

Next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing... "You can have mine!"

My grandmother told me how she ended up marrying Grandpa. She was in her 20's, and the man she was dating left for war. "We were in love," she recalled, "and wrote to each other every week. It was during that time that I discovered how wonderful your grandfather was."

"Did you marry Grandpa when he came home from the war?" I asked.

"Oh, I didn’t marry the man who wrote the letters. Your grandfather was the mailman."