Husband: “Call 911 quick, I think I’m having a heart attack!“
The wife picked up his cell phone to call. She said, “Give me your password!”
Husband: "Never mind, I’m feeling much better now."
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
"He didn't count on this..."
Friend: "What are you going to give your mother-in-law for Christmas?"
Me: "Her son back!"
No offense, but I was raised to “take care of my husband”...
Wash his clothes, clean the house, wear gloves, get rid of the body, act really sad at the funeral.