I never actually lose weight anymore.
Apparently, I just loan it out and it comes back with interest.
And lately, I have been getting great rates of return!
I hate it when my wife gets mad at me for being lazy.
It’s not like I did anything!
My girlfriend just broke up with me for being too un-American...
But honestly, I saw it coming from a kilometer away.
I told the doctor’s receptionist I need an appointment.
“How about 10 tomorrow?” she asked.
“I don’t need that many,” I replied.