Boy 1: "How did you get that bruise on your arm?"
Boy 2: "I ate some Easter candy."
Boy 1: "Eating Easter candy won't give you a bruise."
Boy 2: "It will if it's your big brother's candy!"
What do you call a person who takes baby goats?
A Kidnapper!
For a while I worked at a sarcastic tattoo parlor.
I quit because I couldn’t take the needling.
I put my phone under my pillow last night.
When I woke up it was gone and there was a $1 coin in it's place.
It was the Bluetooth Fairy.