Past Winners

Moses was walking down the street when he bumped into the ex-President. "Hello," Bush said. "Nice weather we're having, huh?"

Moses took one look at the President, turned and ran in the other direction. The next day Moses was walking down the same street and there was Bush. Again he tried to initiate a conversation. Again Moses turned and ran away.

Bush was tired of this bizarre treatment, so the next time Moses ran away from him, Bush followed. When he caught up, he asked Moses what was wrong.

Moses said, "The last time I talked to a bush I spent 40 years in the desert."

People get impressed when I tell them my home is designed by a famous Italian...

Until I invite them home and they realize I live in a Fiat.

Two deer hunters hired a pilot to take them way back into the forest. After the hunt, the pilot returned and saw that they shot six deer.

"The plane won't carry six deer, you'll have to leave two of them," said the pilot, trying to be friendly.

Unwilling to leave their dead deer, the hunters said "We got six on the plane last year."

The pilot gave in, and just five minutes after takeoff the plane crashed into the forest. Lucky to be alive, one of the hunters said, "Any idea where we are?"

The second hunter said, "Yeah, right about where our plane went down last year."

A rookie pitcher is struggling on the mound, so the catcher walks up to have a quick talk with him.

"I think I've figured out your problem," the catcher tells the shaky pitcher. "You always lose control at exactly the same point in every game."

The pitcher feels a little relieved, thinking he has the answer to his issue. "When do I usually lose my control?" he asks his teammate.

"It's usually," the catcher admits, "right after the national anthem."