Past Winners

5/10/2019 To 5/17/2019
$50.00 won 7 votes

While on vacation in Spain with my wife, I I started to feel funny. I had some pain in my chest and felt short of breath. I chalked it up to the long day we had just had, but I continued to feel worse. As we got out of the taxi and walked into the hotel, I collapsed.

It became apparent to my wife and I that I was having a heart attack. I thought for sure I would die because the nearest hospital was 1/2 hour away. Suddenly from the back room came a woman wielding defibrillators. She shouted to the other staff to help and they ripped off my shirt and restarted my heart right there in the hotel.

The ambulance arrived 20 minutes later, but thanks to this amazing woman my life had been saved. I spent the night in the hospital but I got out around noon the next day. I went back to the hotel to thank this woman.

I said, “I’m amazed that a hotel this small has a full time doctor as skilled as yourself!”

She replied, “No one expects the Spanish Inn physician.”

7 votes

posted by "barber7796" |
5/10/2019 To 5/17/2019
$25.00 won 4 votes

Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where the conversation turned to the subject of marriage. Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer.

Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a new computer instead.

During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring. Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted, "Well, don't you have something to ask me?"

Dave then got down on bended knee.

"Honey," he said, "will you buy me a new computer?"

4 votes

CATEGORY School Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
5/10/2019 To 5/17/2019
$15.00 won 7 votes

While visiting a country school, the chairman of the Board Of Education became provoked at the noise the unruly students were making in the next room.

Angrily, he opened the door and grabbed one of the taller boys who seemed to be doing most of the talking. He dragged the boy to the next room and stood him in the corner.

A few minutes later, a small boy stuck his head in the room and pleaded, “Please, sir, may we have our teacher back?”

7 votes

CATEGORY School Jokes
posted by "Benjones" |
5/10/2019 To 5/17/2019
$12.00 won 8 votes

A new mummy has just been discovered in Egypt! It was found covered in chocolate and nuts.

They believe he was called Pharaoh Rocher!

8 votes

CATEGORY Puns
posted by "Danny Jackson" |