Past Winners

After separate but lengthy trials two guys meet in a prison-cell and tried to get the upper or lower bunk.

PRISONER #1: How long are you here for? 

PRISONER#2 : Twenty-seven years. Hwo long are you in for? 

PRISIONER #1 : Twenty-five years. 

PRISONER #2 : Well,then, you sleep by the door: you'll get out before me. 

A Russian arrives at a friends house with a bottle of vodka. The friend silently leads him into the dining room where they both sit at the table with the bottle. Not a word is spoken.

The friend goes off and returns with two vodka glasses. The Russian fills the two glasses with the vodka, and they begin to drink. Not a word is spoken.

After much silence and a half-empty bottle, the Russian ventures a comment, “Good vodka, agree?”

At this, the friend slams down his glass and replies, “Did you come here to talk or to drink?”

A woman walks in a store to return a pair of eyeglasses that she had purchased for her husband a week before.

"What seems to be the problem, madam?"

"I'm returning these glasses I bought for my husband. He's still not seeing things my way."

A bald man had a real hang-up about his lack of hair. He had tried all types of treatment, but without success. Then one day he passed a barber’s shop with a sign in the window that read: “Bald Men. Your Problems Solved Instantly. You Too Can Have a Head of Hair Like Mine For Five Hundred Dollars.”

And beneath the sign was a photo of the barber with his flowing mane of hair. So the bald man went into the shop and asked the bartender, “Can you guarantee that for $500 my hair will instantly look like yours?”

“Certainly,” said the barber. “It will take no more than a few seconds for us to look exactly alike.”

“Okay then,” said the bald man, handing over the money. “Let’s go for it.”

The barber took the money and shaved his own hair off.