Past Winners

My friend couldn’t afford to pay his high water bill...

So I sent him a “Get 'Well' Soon” card.

I was just born. My father asks my mother, "Do you have a name in mind?"

My mom replies, "No, uhh..."

My dad interrupts, "Noah! Perfect name!"

That's how I got the name Noah.

Genie: OK, I'm ready for your third wish.

Me: Third? What about the first two?

Genie: Well, this is a little unusual, but after your first wish, you screamed like a madman and said "I wish I'd never made that wish!" So that counted as your second wish, and I erased your memory of both of them.

Me: Well, OK. I wish I really understood how women think.

Genie: Granted. By the way, that was your first wish, too.

Q: Daddy, why are all those cars beeping their horns?

A: Because they were just at a wedding.

Q: Don’t we beep the horn as a warning signal, Daddy?

A: Exactly, son.