Past Winners

Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations she or he keeps cranking out.

A KEEN ANALYST: Thoroughly confused.
EXPRESSES SELF WELL: Can string two sentences together.
SPENDS EXTRA HOURS ON THE JOB: Miserable home life.
CONSCIENTIOUS AND CAREFUL: Scared.
METICULOUS IN ATTENTION TO DETAIL: A nitpicker.
DEMONSTRATES QUALITIES OF LEADERSHIP: Has a loud voice.
JUDGMENT IS USUALLY SOUND: Lucky.
KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR: Knows lots of dirty jokes.

During her physical examination, a doctor asked a retired woman about her physical activity level. The woman said she spent 3 days a week, every week, in the outdoors.

"Well, yesterday afternoon was typical; I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through 2 miles of brambles. I got sand in my shoes and my eyes. I barely avoided stepping on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I went to the bathroom behind some big trees. I ran away from an irate mother bear and then ran away from one angry bull elk. The mental stress of it all left me shattered, so I drank a scotch and three glasses of wine."

Amazed by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one heck of an outdoor woman!"

"No," the woman replied, "I'm just a really bad golfer!"

We all know Albert Einstein was a genius...

But his brother Frank was a monster!

Do you know the new type of knock knock joke that starts with "no me neither?"

"No."

"Me neither."