Past Winners

A pirate walks into a pub on the mainland with an enormous rainbow feathered parrot on his shoulder. The barkeep stares at the rather intimidating bird until he finally gathers enough courage to ask the pirate about it.

He points at the pirate and says, “Where did you get that?”

“Pirate Bay,” the parrot answers, “the place is filled to the brim with ’em!”

The bank robber enters the bank with his gun drawn in plain sight.

He walks to the middle of the lobby, pauses for a few seconds, turns around a couple of times, and then approaches a teller.

Then scratching his temple with the gun barrel, he says to the teller, "Do you ever enter a room and forget why?"

A guy kept boring his friends by going on and on about his ideas for a musical based on his life.

Eventually one of them said to him, “Look man, there’s no need to make a song and dance about it!”

A secretary walked into her boss's office and said, "I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you."

"Why do you always have to give me bad news?" he complained. "Tell me some good news for once."

"Alright, here's some good news," said the secretary. "You're not sterile."