Past Winners

I was observing two men that were working for the public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in.

After a while I had to ask, "Why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"

The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the lad who plants the trees called in sick."

Little Johnny was playing in his yard when his next door neighbor drove by pulling a trailer. He ask what did he have in the trailer?

"Manure,"the neighbor replied.

"What are you going to do with it?" asked Little Johnny

"Put it on my strawberries," answered the farmer.

Little Johnny replied, "You ought to come and eat with us, we put ice-cream on our strawberries."

My son’s math teacher called him average...

I just think he’s mean.

A married couple were enjoying a luxury South Sea cruise until their liner was shipwrecked and they were washed ashore on a desert island, the only survivors.

Day after day, they looked hopefully out to sea in the hope of spotting a passing vessel but none came. As boredom set in, they started to think about their home back in Arizona.

The wife asked, “Did you remember to pay the final installment on the Chevrolet before we came away?”

“No, honey, I clean forgot. Sorry.”

”Did you remember to pay the electric bill before we left home?”

“No, I completely forgot. Sorry.”

”Did you remember to pay the gas bill?”

”Do you know, that slipped my mind, too. Sorry.”

“And did you remember to pay the six-monthly tax bill?”

”I knew there was something important I had to do. I’m really sorry honey.”

”Well, at least there’s one good thing,” sighed the wife.

“What’s that?”

”They’ll find us.”