Past Winners

A taxpayer received a strongly worded "second notice" that his taxes were overdue. Hastening to the collector's office, he paid his bill, saying apologetically that he had overlooked the first notice.

"Oh," confided the collector with a smile, "we don't send out first notices. We have found that the second notices are more effective."

A soccer hooligan is charged with disorderly conduct and assault after a match. The arresting officer states that the accused had thrown something into the river not far from the stadium.

“What exactly did the accused throw into the river?” the judge asks.

“Stones, sir,” the officer replies.

The judge is confused. “Well, that’s hardly an offense, officer.”

“It was in this case, sir,” the officer explains. “Stones was the name of the referee.”

Seeing his shares plummet on a black morning during the recession, the boss called to his secretary, “Get my broker, Miss Wilks!”

”Certainly, sir. Stock or pawn?”

I started a new job as a security guard last night.

Before my boss left he told me I had to make sure I watched the office all night.

I am on season 2 already but I don't know what it has to do with security.