Past Winners

After raising four kids and losing one husband, I decided to return to college and get the degree I had started but never finished. And so, on my first day of college, eager with anticipation, and more than a little nervous, I took a front row seat in my first class in over 40 years ... a literature course.

The professor told us we would be responsible for reading five books over the course of the semester, and that he would provide us with a list of authors from which we could choose.

He ambled over to the lectern, took out a paper, and began: "Baker, Black, Brooks, Carter, Cook..."

I was working feverishly to get down all the names when I felt a tap on my shoulder. The student behind me whispered, "Slow down... he's just taking attendance."

Me: I taught my dog to play chess.

Friend: He must be very smart?

Me: Not really, I beat him two games out of three!

“Boss can I have a week off around Christmas?”

“It’s May...”

“Sorry. May I have a week off around Christmas?”

A man showed some friends his apartment. One guest asked, "What's that big brass basin for?"

"That's the talking clock," answered the man.

He gave it an ear-shattering pound with a hammer.

Suddenly, a voice on the other side of the wall screamed, "Knock it off! Don't you know that it's 2:00 A.M.!"