lawyer jokes

A lawyer was on vacation in a small farming town. While walking through the streets on a quiet Sunday morning, he came upon a large crowd gathered by the side of the road.

Going by instinct, the lawyer figured that there was some sort of auto collision. He was eager to get to the injured parties but couldn't get near the car. Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim."

The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.

A man went to his lawyer and asked him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?"

"Do you have any proof he owes you the money?" asked the lawyer.

"Nope," replied the man.

"Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $5,000 he owes you," said the lawyer.

"But it's only $500," replied the man.

"Precisely. That’s what he will reply and then you’ll have your proof!"

A policeman was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. “Officer — did you see my client escaping the scene?”

“No sir. Be that as it may, I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.”

“Officer — who provided this description?”

“The responding officer.”

“A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?”

“Yes, sir. With my life.”

“With your life? Do you have a room where you change your clothes before your daily duties?”

“Yes, sir, we do.”

“And do you have a locker in the room?”

“Yes, sir, I do.”

“And do you have a lock on your locker?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Well officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, why do you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?”

“You see, sir — we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.”

Talk is cheap . . .

Until you hire a lawyer.