lawyer jokes

A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the saying, "You can't take it with you." After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance-chaser finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died.

He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillow cases. He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. His plan was that when he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to heaven.

Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer's wife had gone up in the attic to clean. Coming upon the two forgotten pillow cases stuffed with cash she exclaimed, "Oh, that darned old fool. He should have had me put the money in the basement."

Talk about writing skills...

Lawyers are the only people who can write a 10,000-word document and call it a "brief"!

What type of apparel is the most popular with lawyers?

Law-suits!

She entered the office of a noted divorce lawyer. "I want to know if I have grounds for divorce? "she asked.

"Are you married?" asked the lawyer.

"Yes, I am."

"Then, "he replied, "you have ground."