lawyer jokes

The defense attorney was cross-examining the attractive witness, leaned forward and thundered, "Where were you Monday night?"

"Automobile riding," replied the witness.

"What about Tuesday night?"

"Automobile riding."

"And what are you going to be doing tomorrow night?"

The prosecuting attorney leaped out of his chair protesting the last question. The judge, being a tolerant gentleman, "And why do you object?"

The prosecuting attorney drew himself up in righteous indignation, "Because I asked her first."

A Frenchman, an Englishman, an American man, and a lawyer were sitting on a train. The Frenchman offered everyone some of his baguette, then threw it out the window, saying, "Don't worry - we have plenty of those where I come from."

The Englishman offered everyone a crumpet, then threw the rest out of the window, saying, "Don't worry - we have plenty of those where I come from."

Then the American threw the lawyer out the window, saying...

"I broke a mirror in my house and I’m supposed to get seven years of bad luck... but my lawyer thinks he can get me five."