lawyer jokes
Favorite this joke "Yes," said the lawyer to his client. "You have got the best case I have ever heard."
"Thanks," said the client, grabbing up his coat and heading out the door.
"Where are you going?" ask the astonished lawyer.
"I'm going to settle this case out of court," said the leaving client.
"But I told you it is the best case I have ever heard?"
"Maybe," began the client, "but not for me, I told you the other fellow's case."
A man was arraigned for assault and battery and brought before the judge.
Judge: What is your name, occupation, and what are you charged with?
Prisoner: My name is Sparky, I am an electrician and I'm charged with battery.
Judge (after recovering his equilibrium): Officer, put this guy in a dry cell.
The client thumped his crutch on the ground as he confronted his lawyer. "Heavens, man, your bill is outrageous! You are taking three-fifths of my settlement. I never heard of such extortion."
"I furnished the skill, the eloquence and the necessary legal learning for your case," said the lawyer coolly.
"Yes," said the client, "but I furnished the case itself."
"Bosh," sneered the lawyer. "Anyone could fall down a deep hole."
The judge wanted to make sure the witness understood the solemnity of the occasion.
"Do you know what the word 'oath' means?" asks the judge.
"Sure do," says the witness. "Oath means if I swear to a lie, I gotta stick with it."
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