lawyer jokes

A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the sunny Caribbean. They were discussing their great vacations when the lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything."

That is quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."

The lawyer, quite puzzled, asked, "How do YOU start a flood?"

Judge: What is the prisoner charged with?

Lawyer: He is a camera enthusiast.

Judge: But you can’t put a person in jail because he is crazy about taking pictures.

Lawyer: He doesn’t take pictures, your Honor, just cameras.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.