misc jokes

Discussing the environment with his friend, John asked, “Which of our natural resources do you think will become exhausted first?”

“The taxpayer,” replied his friend.

Yes, Theo, what is it? Asked the teacher.
I don’t wan to alarm you, Miss Davis, but my dad said if I didn’t get better marks, someone was going to get a licking.

The teacher said; Tommy, this is the fifth day this week you’ve had to stay after school. What have you to say for yourself?
I’m certainly glad it’s Friday, said Tommy.

The poet had been droning on at the party about his various sources of inspiration. “Yes, he told the young girl. “I’m at present collecting some of my better poems to be published posthumously.” “Lovely,” said the girl. “I’ll look forward to it.”