misc jokes

The drunk walking along the country road saw the duck hunter lying in the brush with the gun poised toward the direction of the high-flying flock in the distance. “Shay, mishter,” advised the drunk. “Don’t waisht a shot. The fall’ll kill’em

The boozer took careful aim at the bird, but hit a frog. He picked it up, studied it, scratched his head and said, “Well, anyhow I knocked its feathers off.”

A man is being interviewed for a job. “What are your qualifications for the job of night watchman?” “The slightest noise wakes me up.”

He asked for a putter, then drove three hundred yards onto the green. Then he asked for a driver and drove the ball to within two feet of the cup. Then he asked for a niblick and got the ball into the cup. “Now I’m in trouble,” he told the caddie.
“Why?”
“I don’t know what club to use to get it out.”