misc jokes

Two confirmed bachelors sat talking, their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. “I got a cookbook once,” said one, “but I could never do anything with it.” “Too much fancy work in it, eh?” asked the other. “You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way – Take a clean dish.”

Three small kids were bragging about how tough they were. “I’m so tough”, said the first little boy, “that I can wear out a pair of shoes in a week.” The second little boy said, “I’m so tough, I can wear out a pair of jeans in a day.” “That’s nothing”, said the third child. “When my parents take me to see my Grandma and Grandpa, I can wear them out in an hour."

Two kids were deciding what game to play.

One said, “Let’s play doctor!”

“Good idea,” said the other. “You be the doctor who operates, and I’ll be the patient who sues.”

A kindergarten teacher asked, "What is the shape of the earth?”

After a pause a little girl spoke up, “According to my Daddy…terrible!”