misc jokes

A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting.

“Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?” he asks. The two Americans just stare at him.

“Excusez-moi, parlez vous Fracais?” he tries. The two continue to stare.

“Parlare Italiano?” No response.

“Hablan ustedes Espanol?” Still nothing. The Swiss guy drives off, extremely frustrated.

The first American turns to the second and says, “You know, maybe we should learn a foreign language.”

“Why?” says the other. “That guy knew four languages, and it didn’t do him any good.”

After the telephone was installed in her home, the lady called the operator.
“My telephone cord is too long,” she said. “Would you please pull it a little from your end?”

Patty met Eric and said; that’s a nice suit you are wearing.
Eric: Oh, do you like it?
Patty: Yes, who went for the fitting?

"You see, doctor, I’m always dizzy for half an hour after I get up in the morning,” said Carla.

“Well, try getting up half an hour later,” said the doctor.