misc jokes

A carrier pigeon stopped to rest on the window sill in the Pentagon building. Close behind him came another pigeon who stopped off to talk. “Where you going?’ asked the second pigeon. “To section M to deliver an order,” answered the first. “What’s the number of the order?” “234XZY-Q78955-421YYTX,” replied the first. “Better get a move on,” said the second. “I got an order to rescind it.”

My car is so fast the payments are three months behind.

My wife enjoys sports and anything else that calls for an argument.

The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods, then hit into few trees, then proceeded to hit across the fairway into some other woods. Finally, after banging away several more times, he proceeded to hit into a sand trap. All the while, he’d noticed that the club pro had been watching. “What club should I use now?” he asked the pro.
“I don’t know,” the pro replied. “What game are you playing?”