misc jokes

Hell is a place where:
The lovers are Swiss
The cooks are English
The mechanics are French
The police are German and
The government is run by the Italians

Harry asked his wife: Did your leave a tip for the boy who delivers our paper?
His wife replies: Yes, dear. I put some of it in the bushes, some of it on the roof, and some of it in the front yard.

Heaven is a place where:
The lovers are Italian
The cooks are French
The mechanics are German
The police are English, and
The government is run by the Swiss

A Policeman stops a speeding car and tells the woman driver; When I saw you driving down the road, I thought to myself, “sixty-five at least.”
The woman replied: I don’t think that is quite fair. I think this hat makes me look older.