misc jokes

Mary said to her neighbor, “Don’t tell me you believe your husband’s story that he spent the day fishing. Why, he didn’t come home with a single fish.”
That’s why I believe him,” the neighbor said.

A very exited mother asked her daughter: Well, what happened when you showed the girls in the office your new engagement ring? Did they all admire it?
Her daughter replied: Better than that, four of them recognized it.

A humble little man in a restaurant shyly touched the arm of a man putting on an overcoat. “Excuse me,” he said, “but do you happen to be Mr. Williams of Main?”
“No, I’m not!” the man answered with annoyance.
“Oh…er…well,” stutter the little man, “you see, I am, and that’s his overcoat you’re putting on.”

A newlywed is trying to console his little bride, who sprawled, dissolved in tears on the couch. “Darling’” he implored, “Believe me. I never said you were a terrible cook. I merely pointed out that our garbage disposal has developed an ulcer.”