misc jokes

Son: Dad!, Dad! I got a part in the school play! I play the husband.
Dad: Too bad they did not give a speaking role.

Why do black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.

One friend to another, "Did you know that the shortest sentence in the English language is 'I am'?”

"Really? What’s the longest sentence?"

“I do.”

A young girl came home from a date looking sad. She told her mother, “Charles proposed to me a few minutes ago.”
“Then why are you so sad?” her mother asked.
“Because he also mentioned he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn’t believe there’s hell!”
Her mother replied, “Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we’ll show him how wrong he is.”