Best Jokes

1 votes

To celebrate their silver anniversary, a couple went to Niagara Falls and asked a motel clerk for a room. "We only have the honeymoon suite available," the clerk told them.

"My wife and I've been married 25 year," the man said. "We don't need the honeymoon suite."

"Look, buddy," replied the clerk. "I might rent you Yankee Stadium, but you don't have to play baseball in it!"

1 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Anonymous" |
1 votes

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? 
A: Frostbite. 

1 votes

posted by "Chris Chudley" |
1 votes

Every Saturday morning Grandpa Walt found himself babysitting his three grandchildren, all boys. The kids always wanted to play ''War'' and Grandpa somehow always got coaxed into the game.

His daughter came to pick up the kids early one Saturday and witnessed Grandpa take a fake shot as one of the boys pointed a toy gun and yelled, "Bang!"

Grandpa slumped to the floor and stayed there motionless. The daughter rushed over to see if he was all right. Grandpa opened one eye and whispered, ''Shhh, I always do this. It's the only chance I get to rest.''

1 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "Anonymous" |
$10.00 won 1 votes

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the vicar with an unusual offer. "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I'm to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that part out."

He passed the clergyman the cash and walked away satisfied. The wedding day arrives, and the bride and groom have moved to that part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it comes time for the groom's vows, the vicar looks the young man in the eye and says, "Will you promise to obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, as long as you both shall live?"

The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes."

The groom leaned toward the vicar and hissed, "I thought we had a deal."

The vicar put the $100 into his hand and whispered back, "She made me a much better offer."

1 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Leibel" |