Best Jokes

Teacher: Since it's storm season, can anyone tell the class what a category five storm is?

Little Johnny: It’s when everyone hides in their room, including dad. It usually happens when Aunt Suzy comes to visit us and she starts talking to my mom about politics.

Would you like a joke about statistics?

Probably!

When a young man left his dorm and moved into an apartment, he went shopping for cleaning equipment. His cart was loaded with a broom, mop, dust-pan, sponges and a full array of cleaning products.

At the last minute he topped off his cart with a lone food purchase -- a large bag of potato chips.

Seeing the checkout clerk's quizzical look, he explained, "I'm a very messy eater."

The new Ensign was assigned to a submarine, where he'd dreamed of working since a young boy.

He was trying to impress the Master Chief with his expertise learned in Submarine School.

The Master Chief cut him off quickly and said, "Listen, it's real simple. Add the number of times we dive to the number of times we surface. Divide that number by two. If the result doesn't come out even, don't open the hatch."