I love being married...
It is so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
After birth you forget what your Mom is really like on the inside.
A woman went to a computer dating service and said she didn't care about looks, income or background.
All she wanted was a man of upright character.
Then a man came in and told them the only thing he was seeking in a woman was intelligence.
The service matched them together at once because they had one thing in common - they were both compulsive liars!
A State Police Officer once received a call from a woman who asked him how to baste a turkey. After a stunned moment, he, being a fairly good cook, described the procedure.
Then he asked, "But why would you call the State Police to find out how to baste a turkey?"
There was only a slight hesitation before she replied, "Well, you knew, didn't you?" and hung up.