Best Jokes

Johnny's teacher paid a visit to his house one day. When little Johnny opened the door, she asked, "Are your father and mother in, Mr. Morton?"

"They was in, but they is out now," he answered.

The teacher gasped, "Why, Mr. Johnny Morton, it is 'They were in, but they are out now.' Where's your grammar?"

"She's upstairs taking her nap."

I love the game, "Survivor". They start out with 20 contestants who are systematically knocked out of the game until there are only three left. The winner is the one who lies and backstabs the most people. You know, like politics.

March was when my son celebrated his 15th birthday and I got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn't? I celebrated my birthday in July and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad. My daughter's birthday was in August so I got her an iPod Touch.

September came by, so for my wife’s birthday I bought her an iRon. It was around then that the fight started. What my wife failed to recognize is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean.

This unfortunately activated the iRate, which led me to the iHospital and iGet out Thursday.

Prince Charles was walking past a cheering crowd when he spotted a woman holding two babies and surrounded by five pre-teenagers. "Well," says the Prince, "You have a handful. Do you have any other children?"

"Yes, there are seven more at home"

"Your husband deserves a knighthood," said Prince Charles.

The mother replied, "He has plenty of night-hoods, but he refuses to wear them."