Best Jokes

A distraught investor called his financial advisor. “Is it true? Is my money really all gone?” he asked, wailing.

“No, no, take it easy,” the advisor answered calmly. “It isn't all gone... it’s just with somebody else.”

A Policeman came to my door yesterday and asked, “Where were you between four and six?” So I said, "Probably in kindergarten or first grade.”

Two verbs, three adjectives, three nouns and a conjunction appeared in court. They’re due to be sentenced next week.

One day the school principal was talking to Little Johnny's teacher about his behavior, when all of a sudden Johnny comes running down the hallway. The principal stops Johnny and asks him, why are you running? Little Johnny says; I’m keeping two kids from fighting, sir. Who? ask the principal. Me and the kid chasing me; and off he went.