Best Jokes

A blonde, a brunette and a red head walk into a bar. The bartender
tells them that there is a magic mirror in the bathroom. If they tell
the truth while looking into it then they get something nice, but if
they lie then they disappear.

The brunette walks in, looks in the mirror and says, "I think that I
am the sexiest woman in the bar." And $1 million pops up in the sink.

The red head walks in, looks in the mirror and says, "I think I'm the
smartest woman in the bar." And car keys to Viper pop out of the sink.

The blonde walks in, looks in the mirror and says, "I think....." And
she disappears.

The left eye said to the right eye:

"Something has come between us and it smells."

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon and with great expression, he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

With even greater emphasis he said, " And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He then sat down.

The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn 365, "Shall We Gather at the River."

What did the Beaver say to the tree?

Nice Gnawin ya!