Best Jokes

Carlos told his wife he wanted a guitar to play while sitting in the Jacuzzi. “The next day she bought him an electric guitar.”

A couple is arguing about who should make the coffee in the morning. The wife says, “I think your should do it because you get up first.”
He counters with, “The kitchen is your domain, and you do all the cooking so you know where everything is. I think you should make the coffee.” “No way,” she says. “You should do it. The Bible even says so.” “What the heck are you talking about?” She grabs the family Bible, thumbs through, and point to the appropriate section: “Hebrews”

Did you hear about the dead cabbage?
There was a big turnip at the funeral.

Little Jonny was assigned a job for the choir on Christmas his job was when the choir sang ‘and the Angel lit the candle’ he was to come out and light the candle. So before the service on Christmas Eve they had a practice. So the choir got to the part and sang ‘and the Angel lit the candle’ and there was no Jonny so they sang it a bit louder thinking he didn't hear them and still no Jonny so they sang it even louder and finally Jonny came out and sang; And the cat peed on the matches!