Best Jokes

What do you call a Turkey with a limp?

A gobble with a wobble.

Why Dogs Can’t Use Computers...

- He’s distracted by cats chasing his mouse.
- SIT and STAY were hard enough; CUT and PASTE are out of the question.
- Saliva-coated floppy disks refuse to work.
- Three words: carpal paw syndrome.
- Involuntary tail wagging is a dead give-away that he’s browsing www.purina.com instead of working.
- The fire hydrant icon is simply too frustrating.
- He can’t help attacking the screen when he hears “You’ve Got Mail”.
- It’s too messy to “mark” every Web site he visits.
- The FETCH command isn’t available on all platforms.
- He can’t stick his head out of Windows.

"Hocus Pocus" doesn't work anymore...

I think they changed the password.

Football is a dangerous sport and players can be hurt while playing. During a college game a player was hit pretty hard on one play. The doctor came onto the field as the teammates huddled around them. He asked the player a few questions as he lay on the field.

"What's three plus three?" the doctor asked him.

"Seven."

"What's the capital of the United States?"

"Alabama."

"Which state is farther east, California or Florida?"

"California."

At this point, the doctor thought the player was confused and probably had suffered a brain concussion so he told the coach to take him out of the game.

The coach quickly spoke up. "Don't do that, Doc. Let him play. He's alright. He didn't know that stuff even before he was hit."