Best Jokes

There's this old lady at a supermarket. She goes to the produce section. She's rummaging around for a while. Then the Produce Manager sees this and starts talking to her.

Produce Manager: Can I help you ma'am?

Old Lady: I'm trying to find some broccoli.

Produce Manager: We're out of broccoli at the moment.

The old lady starts rummaging again.

Produce Manager: Can I help you ma'am?

Old Lady: I'm trying to find some broccoli.

Produce Manager: I just told you that we don't have any at the moment.

The old lady begins rummaging again.

Produce Manager: Can I help you ma'am?

Old Lady: I'm trying to find some broccoli.

Produce Manager: Is there straw in strawberry?

Old Lady: Yes.

Produce Manager: Is there van in vanilla?

Old Lady: Yes.

Produce Manager: Is there freak in broccoli?

Old Lady: There's no freak in broccoli!

Produce Manager: That's what I've been trying to tell you!!!

Yo' momma so ugly - when you was born you tried to crawl back in!!!

What's the difference between the Army and the Boy Scouts?

The Boy Scouts don't have heavy artillery!

Two nuns were shopping at a 7-Eleven store. As they passed by the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, “Wouldn’t a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?”

The second nun answered, “Indeed it would, sister, but I would not feel comfortable buying beer, since I am certain it would cause a scene at the checkout stand.”

“I can handle that without a problem,” the other nun replied, and she picked up a six-pack and headed for the checkout.

The cashier had a surprised look on his face when the two nuns arrived with a six-pack of beer.

“We use beer for washing our hair,” the nun said. “Back at the convent, we call it ‘Catholic shampoo.’ ”

Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter, pulled out a package of pretzel sticks, and placed them in the bag with the beer. He then looked the nun straight in the eye, smiled, and said, “The curlers are on the house.”