Best Jokes

If God had wanted me to touch my toes...

He would have put them on my knees!

The Doctor, after examining the lady who had been brought into the EMERGENCY ROOM, said to the husband: "I'm afraid your wife is not looking well."

The husband replied, "I agree with you Doc, but she is a good cook and is great with the kids."

On day when returning home from work my wife proceeded to tell me that she had been called into the principal's office because of the things OUR SON had done at school that day.

We agreed that he should be disciplined the same was I was disciplined when I was his age: being sent to my room without supper.

But in my son's room, he has his own color TV, telephone, computer, and CD player. So what is a parent to do in this day and age?

We sent him to MY room!

Teacher: "What do you get when a waiter trips?"

Student: "Flying Saucers!"