Best Jokes

In which bank doers Dracula like to save money?

In a blood bank!

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."

The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!".

Teacher: "Define energy."

Johnny: "I don’t remember the complete definition but I remember the last few words."

Teacher: "Ok, say the last few words then."

Johnny: "... and this is called energy."

No offense, but I was raised to “take care of my husband”...

Wash his clothes, clean the house, wear gloves, get rid of the body, act really sad at the funeral.