Best Jokes

An Englishman took a business trip to New York. When he arrived, the hotel clerk asked him a riddle. "My mom and dad had a baby. It wasn't my brother. It wasn't my sister. Who was it?"
The Englishman thought long and hard, but eventually gave up. "I don't know who was it?"
The hotel clerk responded, "It was me!"
The Englishman thought that was hilarious. He couldn't wait to get home and tell this funny joke to his family and friends in England.
When he arrived home they met him at the airport and he asked them: "My mom and dad had a baby. It wasn't my brother. It wasn't my sister. Who was it?"
His friends thought and thought about it until they gave up. So he told them, "It was a hotel clerk I met in New York."

Did you hear the invisible man married the invisible woman?
Their children weren't much to look at either.

At a divorce court a family of bears is waiting for the judge to grant custody of little bear.
The judge asks the baby bear, “Do you want to live with papa bear?”

The baby bear replied, "No, he beats me."

The judge asked, "So do you want to live with mommy bear?"

The baby bear said, "No, she beats me too."

The judge asked, "Then whom do you want to live with?"

The baby bear says, "With the Chicago bears, they don't beat anyone."

An insurance salesman was trying to persuade a housewife to take out a life insurance policy. “Now supposing your husband were to die,” he said, “what would you get?
“Oh, a Bulldog, I think,” replied the housewife. “They are always good company!”